One of my greatest joys since becoming a witch is learning about holidays worldwide. While I understand that Gerald Gardener appropriated many of the Wiccan holidays as we view them today, I still find it deeply rewarding to learn about them. Theirs was a time when a holiday had true meaning and purpose. Gone are the commercialized chocolate hearts, giant inflatable lawn decor, and violence of Black Friday shopping. In its place, homemade food is savored by loved ones while you give thanks to be able to eat through the winter months. These holidays bring back gratitude and hard labor. This year, I downloaded pagan holidays to my Google Calendar for the first time. I had never known I could do that (Yes, I'm showing my age). While looking month to month, I noticed some holidays I had not seen before. One of them starts this month: Parentalia.
One of my favorite pagan holidays so far has to be the Celtic-based Samhain (pronounced sow-in). Growing up with Halloween all about candy and scaring each other, it was nice to have a reverent holiday focused on family ties and honoring those who came before us. As a witch who uses ancestral magic, I gravitated to Samhain and found that it spoke to my soul. So now I have another holiday to share with my ancestors. When I say you're in for a treat today, I mean it. Get ready to mark your calendars.
What is Parentalia?
Parentalia is a Roman holiday based on venerating our ancestors. It looks very similar to Samhain, but Parentalia is celebrated for nine days instead of a single day. Beginning on February 13th, "all temples were closed, marriages were forbidden, and 'magistrates appeared without their insignia,' an indication that no official business was conducted." (Wikipedia). Ancient Romans believed that the Manes (shades of the dead) would roam the earth during this time, and they fully understood that not all ghosts are friendly. Blessed plates of grains, salt, wine-dipped bread, and violet flowers were left by the roadside and near tombs to appease the spirits.
"And the grave must be honoured. Appease your fathers'
Spirits, and bring little gifts to the tombs you built.
Their shades ask little, piety they prefer to costly
Offerings: no greedy deities haunt the Stygian depths." - Ovid.
On the last night of Parentalia, a ritual called Feralia was held where an older woman would take on the role of Lara (also known as Muta or Tacita: The Mute or Silent One), the mother of the Lares and Manes. Her story is tragic, but if you're interested in learning more about her and her children, the Lares, you can find the blog post here. This rite is quite unusual, and to be honest, I cracked up laughing when I read it the first time. I have no idea how they would complete this without laughing:
The character playing Lara would place three pieces of incense under a door using only three fingers.
While moving seven black beans in her mouth, she would sew the mouth of a fish closed with black thread and cook it.
The elderly woman had to get completely drunk before saying, 'We have sealed up hostile mouths and unfriendly tongues' (Ovid).
Like, what kind of ritual requires the host to get wasted with beans in her mouth? That sounds like a recipe for someone to choke on a mouthful of beans.
What can you do to celebrate Parentalia?
If you're looking for ideas, treat the holiday like you would Samhain. This is a festival all about honoring your family, so let your heart guide you. Here are some suggestions from me:
Leave offerings for your loved ones at your altar.
Visit and clean family graves.
Sources:
https://www.romanoimpero.com/2019/02/parentalia-dies-parentalii-13-21.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentalia
https://holidappy.com/holidays/Ancient-Roman-Festivals-Celebrations-and-Holidays-A-Fe
Ovid, Fasti 2, V. 599. http://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/OvidFastiBkTwo.htm#anchor_Toc69367694
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